Moment of Grieving and Healing

I drew a Buddha’s face after acknowledging the news about a couple shootings. Why did I draw it? Well the news brought sadness to me, and I grieved. Many questions came to my mine like I wanted to understand why some human beings can and will do cruel things to others? How come we can be so disconnected to one another that hurting each other is ok? What disconnected us? Are we ever connected as human beings? When we are disconnected what is it in our brain, what do we believe? What influence us to believe what we believe? Why do I care? Do I care because I really want the world to be a loving planet or do I care because I want my knowledge to be recognized? What is a loving planet anywhere? Is my idea of a loving Earth the same as people next to me? Just to discuss some simple topics with my boyfriend, we both are already sharing different believes. Who should listen to whom, and does anyone have to listen to anyone ever? OMG, my head is hurt! By starting to see myself asking so many questions and seem like I can keep on going that is where the Buddha’s face is coming in. It calmed my mind and reminded me to breathe. I breathed mindfully in this emotional moment to make space for my unpleasant feeling, so it could express itself freely without being judged, and without have to influence my spirit in any forms. My drawing is to remind myself to be mindful and respectful of my progress of grieving and healing.

I used to have zero respect to my unpleasant emotions and thoughts. I used to believe that what I feel or think is what I am, and I don’t like knowing that I am an anger person, an unhappy person, a resentful person, a bitter person and so on. So in the past, when these feelings and thoughts emerged, one way or the other I would suppress or ignore them. The process was never easy, a lot of battle. I felt miserable while I was ignoring them because I could feel that they were still haunting me. Sooner or later something or someone can trigger them and I have to go through this endless battle again.

Now with many years of mindfulness practice, and persistent in my meditation, yoga, and cultivating true wisdom, I can accept the emotion in me as an element of human being. It totally separates from my soul and spirit which is the true me, and for that understanding it is easier to take care of them. Today, I mindfully and respectfully give them space and time to develop in me. I allow them to be expressed by me if need it. They are free to move through me. Without resentment toward them, this whole process feels so much healthier. I feel at ease with them. Also by not using the energy to resist, then I can use it to enhance them for my personal growth. I can look for things to appreciate, or learn from them, so I can develop a better perspective within myself for the next challenge to come. This new perspective of looking at life is empowering me so much because I feel stronger, more content, more loving and respecting to things and other people. I feel like I understand the purpose of why I am here, and the purpose of why things have to be the way they are.

I’m very grateful.

#selftransformation #spiritual