40th and Fabulous

Today is marked my half way through this human life, 40th. How can I say I feel fabulous without accept that I really don’t like being old physically. Everything is different my skin, my hair, my aches and pains, and surely it will keep declining from here, but I learn and continue to learn to embrace the true of having a life. However, with all of these physically declining each year, I also I feel extremely fabulously strong each year in my love to God, Universe, and others.

Nowadays, I’m careless of spending greater time to look good, but to feel good. I spend less time fixing my mistakes, and more time embracing them. I spend less time concerning how people think of me, and more time to show them how much of their extraordinariness is honored and respected. I spend less time creating a big life (big house, big car…etc), and more time creating smile, gratitude, appreciation, acceptance, and love.

I didn’t remember but most of my life from when I was born through 6 year old. After that I had some old photos which reminded me of how my life started to involve receiving attention from others. I was blissed with physically beauty and talent in dancing. These two together took me to remarkable opportunities and awarded me with fame. I handled it the best I could at a time, but I know I will do it much better if I have my heart today. I trust that these 20 something years of my life are paved for what later to come or it designed to be my destiny all along for God’s reasons. I remembered at one point when I was still at the peak of my career and fame, I was careless to continue the journey and started to do something else which began my next chapter.

To sum up this next chapter of mine, it’s truly about find my true Self and what extraordinary about being me. Many incredible moments were parts of it, but there were also many heart broken, doubt, fear, concern, judge, anger, jealousy…etc. I’m realized now that I was chosen to face the ugliness of my ego self, so I could acknowledge them, peeled them one by one off from my unpolluted soul, and finally know who I am. What a journey!! Age gives me wisdom and different eyes, mind and heart to see, think, and feel things which now truly matter for my contentment, gratitude, and love. Little thing like rabbits are chasing one another, mother deer leads her babies around the trail, birds sing, leaves are moving like they are dancing, sun is lighting, smile of strengthen, love and gratitude which I receive each week from my students, my juice every morning, the smell of food on stove…..etc give value, and purpose to my life. The journey has been long, but I’m grateful that God is choosing me to walk this love and gratitude path, and never once giving up on my mistakes and ignorance. So, I can try and try and try and finally understand why this life which I have a chance to experience is so incredible.

Thanks father for 40th years of having me witnessing your creation on earth. Thanks for 40th of creating me as who I am. I will contribute my being to support, enhance, and love others until my time to leave. Rain feels so good in our Buffalo’s dry soil today, Thanks Father.

#aphinyadeley #humble #appreciation